For this #selfcaresunday I am choosing to feel. It is much easier to put aside my feelings. The thought of dealing with my sadness, anger, disappointment, even happiness causes me such anxiety it’s ridiculous! You read that right, even happiness gives me anxiety. This is because I don’t allow myself to basque in the moment. I’m so suspicious of happiness that I’m like, something is going right in my life, hmm, that MUST mean something terrible is going to happen. So what’s the point of enjoying this moment in my life if I’m going to have to worry right after anyways?
Or when things are going so wrong that I should take some time to just sit in silence and cry or scream. It’s probably healthy for me to express my feelings instead of just holding it in, right? I’ve gone years with holding in my emotions. I’ve always had this idea that if I don’t show my emotions or act like it doesn’t bother me, then my mind will magically make it disappear. WRONG. Instead I internalize it all. Instead, all of those negative emotions get so bottled up that it starts to affect my health. This way of internalizing these emotions also halts me from enjoying the great moments in my life. I’m can be so pessimistic sometimes, it’s scary.
So, when I get to that boiling point of stress, I always find myself needing to write or release all of those emotions. Typically, that occurs during my menstrual cycle. Lately that seems like the only time my mind will allow me to feel any type of emotions. So, I’ve learned to allow my body to fully feel all of those emotions. It’s OK to cry, laugh, show anger. Don’t feel like you need to internalize it every single time because it’s not good for you. Those feeling are meant to be expressed. Talk to your partner about your feelings.
It’s Ok to FEEL. It’s human nature It’s healthy to release those emotions. There are many ways to release those emotions. Sometimes I know it’s difficult to find someone to talk to. So instead, write your thoughts down. Or go for a jog or head to the gym. Maybe paint or draw. Perhaps you can do a little retail therapy. CRY. Laugh. Smile. Good or bad, feel. Don’t deprive yourself from feeling. Do force yourself from holding back your emotions for anyone.