Matthew 11:29-30

These past couple of years has been challenging. It’s been a constant roller coaster of ups and downs. Yet, whatever day I was having, towards the end of it I’m brought to my knees thanking God for everything He blessed me with. The beginning of 2018 started off very rocky. As a human being I couldn’t help but be completely brought down by it all. I was stressed beyond imagination. I continued to fight for faith. Honestly, even the faith the size of a pea, was something I was willing to hold on to. I can’t be mad at God. He has a plan for my life. As I mentioned before, I am human. So I become scared and weary. I just have to keep my faith. I can relate to people who question their faith, question why God allowing things to happen. You see, we cannot become upset over the events we have no control over. The more we fight and try to make sense of what God is doing we will never fully be under the grace of God.

I pray someone out there understands me here. My faith has been tested for the past two years since I have reconnected with our Father God. He has seen me through and through. He has put people in my path who want to help me. It doesn’t make all of my problems instantly disappear but it helps me to grow, learn, and become a vessel for God’s work. Writing about God in hopes that someone, one or two of my readers, may understand or feel like their faith is constantly tested as well – but refuse to give up because of our Father God helps me as well. It has been so crazy and stressful that at 26 years old, this year,  I found one strand of white hair! –laughs – The strand of hair isn’t even all white, just about a ¼ of it starting from the root. That didn’t stop me from freaking out though! I like to think that’s God trying to be funny. God works in miraculous ways. We never know how He will bless us. We never know how He will answer our prayers because He will do it in a way we were least expecting.

Writing and blogging was always the  best outlet for my emotions. I am an emotional person – though over the past few years being able to express it has been difficult. Anytime I write and make a post on my blog, I start to feel better emotionally, physically, and most recently spiritually. Sharing my reconnection with God all of you helps me tremendously. This morning I was listening to Joel Osteen via YouTube on my way to work. The specific sermon I was listening this morning was titled “Ease is Coming – Joel Osteen”. I picked that video because the word “ease” spoke to me. Many times all I ever want is peace and understanding of what God is doing in my life. Some days my problems seem so ginormous that I can’t seem to find any peace. “Ease” as a noun means “absence of difficulty or effort” as a verb “move carefully, gradually, or gently”. I told myself I was giving up trying to control every aspect of my life and I was giving it all to God. Giving everything to God isn’t easy at first. But once you start, even just a little bit, you can instantly feel his mercy and grace on your life. I was always able to find my way back to the peace of God even after panicking for the greater part of the day.

For anyone going through a tough season(s) remember that you are not alone. Find comfort in God, family, friends. God works in miraculous ways. Even when you don’t see a way, know that God sees all things we cannot. He has a plan for our lives. He will not abandon us, and He will not forsake us. May God lead you today as you go out there and conquer the good, the bad, and the ugly. All glory be to God.

*side note: my aunt-in-law texted me as I was creating this post and this was what she said, “Good morning how u feeling this morning I pray your spirits are better have a beautiful blessed day (heart emojis)” I inserted that text to say this, whether it’s a stranger or a love one, someone is praying for you. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and seek help or comfort from someone. If at first you don’t know who to turn to, turn to God. He will help bring the right people to you when the time is right. God is always on time.

“Ease is Coming – Joel Osteen”

Galatians 6:9

This is verse from the Bible struck me yesterday. I try my best to do the right thing or “good” thing. I’m a very realistic thinker. I used to be pessimistic in the past, more-so than I am now. From my own experiences I can say this, doing the right thing, the good thing, isn’t always the easiest thing. I still believe good will come from your struggle especially when your heart is in the right place.

Regardless of the difficulties, upon reflection I always come back to the same answer, “I would have still chosen to do/say this”. Sure a life without any complications may be easy but life isn’t set up like that. How else would we know what were made of if we get to show through our trials and tribulations?

New Year, New Age

Hello New Year, Hello new age!

It’s now 2018. I didn’t do anything exciting on NYE. My fiancé, daughter, and sister stayed home. I backed some siracha and honey chicken wings and a cake. All in all, it was a good NYE. For a moment I did wonder what it would be like to be celebrating at a club or at a party but just the thought of dressing up, wearing heels, in the cold, uncomfortable didn’t sound fun. Maybe it did 4 years ago, but I just get so exhausted just thinking about having to dress up.

I’m also 26 today(Jan. 2). I don’t feel 26. Not because it’s just another year older, but with how crazy 2017 was I’m just so thankful to be able to have survived another year. I don’t feel necessarily older. I cannot say I’m super excited or anything. I think this is how other people feel when they say their birthday is just another day. I’ve always been a person excited to celebrate birthdays, perhaps because it wasn’t my birthday. I also haven’t had much luck with executing the perfect plan for my birthday celebrations either, so I know that partly explains my lack of enthusiasm for today. Furthermore there’s a lot of uncertainty still in my life. I know I need to live in the present more and I do most of the time. During high stressful or sensitive events in my life make it hard for me to always just live in the present. One day I hope to write a book and have a it published because I feel like I have so much to say. I know one or two people out there must be able to relate to me. I’m 26. Wow.. seriously as I am typing this post I am getting more and more excited. Thanks blogging!

There’s so much I am looking forward to and have plans for during the next few years. With my reconnection to God and Jesus Christ I feel so much more able and want to work more on walking with faith and conviction. 2017 has been a year of prayer, rebuilding my faith, and understanding that God has a plan for my life. I may not understand His plan.  I may want to fight against His plan for my life but I know he will not abandon me or forsake me. I cannot express to you how much God has been so good to me. Sometimes things happen to us or we put ourselves in situations where we feel hopeless. Like there is absolutely no one or nothing that we can go to or turn to that will make us feel better. I found God again and with how everything played out –none of it was easy of course- I still found a way to thank God. He doesn’t give us what we deserve. He is merciful. With that, I have also learned to live by prayer and some words of the Bible. Any time I felt myself feeling drained or uncertain, I would open up my Bible and read a verse or look back on my notes from Sunday church and recite the verse. All glory is to God for how much I, along with my family, were able to overcome.

To close all I want to say is live your best life. It is tough. I’m not going to pretend I’m the most calm and positive person on the planet but I know that we are only human. We must fight for what we believe in and stand up for ourselves. Please don’t let life and the situations we are in, whether you go yourself into or you were brought into, dictate your quality of life. Find your center, whether it be with your religion, hobby, family, etc. bring yourself to that center and remember our life can improve. My center happens to be God. Not just my religion but my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. All I want to do is live my best life and to make sure my daughter and hopefully, God allowing, our future children live their best lives.

From the bottom of my heart: S.S-J

BTW the chicken recipe I found on Pinterest was DE-LI-CIOUS! I’ll attach the link. Enjoy!

Sweet and Spicy Sriracha Baked Chicken Wings

It’s been a rough couple of days

These are the type of days I pray for more strength. I pray for courage. I pray for wisdom. These are also days I thank God a little more. 
I am learning to speak victory into my life instead of defeat. I shall not speak ill of my life. I shall not let negativity dictate my mood. I shall have faith. I will practice patience and trust in God. I know He does not bring me to something that I can’t get through. He will help me get through it, better, happier, and even more blessed. I am a child of God and I am highly favored. 

To Him I pray

I have imagined my life very different. I always had a plan for how I would live my life – when things would happen, who would be in my life. These past few years really took me by surprise. God had other plans for me. God wanted me to learn and grow. God needed me to see that I was not living the life he intended for me. Although this path God is putting on is tough, some days unbearable, I know he has not left me alone. He gave me people to help me through it all. He gave me people who love me. He gave me people to teach me. I just pray for strength to fight these battles and trials that you are putting me through so that I will become the woman you have always meant for me to be.
Please forgive me for my sins and guide me to live a life that honors you.